Things My Clients Taught Me

by Jackie Bedard on September 1, 2010

in Family Wealth, General

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Last week, my colleague in Oregon, Candice Aiston, published the following blog post and I as read it,I could really relate to Candice’s experience. You see, Candice and I both approach estate planning in similar styles–counseling based, compassionate planning that puts the needs of our clients and their family first. The great thing that I’ve experienced along the way is that if I really take the time to get to know my clients and their families and work with them to design a plan that truly meets their needs and goals, I end up learning a lot myself in the process. And so, with Candice’s permission, I wanted to share her article with my readers:

Things My Clients Taught Me

By Candice Aiston

Every time I get through a client’s estate planning process, I leave having learned something new. I learn what’s important to them and I learn about the characteristics they have that make them so successful in life. Most families that plan with me record a message to their children, and as they talk to their kids, I gain so much insight about what is important to these families. The families are all different when it comes to wealth, religion, political stance, occupations, and interests/hobbies. But they all have a few different things in common that I’ve noticed over the past few years. The characteristics are apparent throughout our entire planning process. Here are a few:

1. It’s all about priorities.

My clients are all very successful, especially in their family lives. I think this is largely due to the fact that they all have their priorities in the right order. At our first meeting, I hear my clients talk about their families. They tell me how they met their partners and they tell me about their kids. Sometimes the meeting is very emotionally charged, because we face worst-case scenarios and talk about their worst fears. They are there because taking care of their family is a priority, even if they were no longer here. Most of them feel that they’ve put off the planning for too long, and that it’s time to finally get it done. The best story I have heard about priorities came from a colleague of mine, whose clients (parents of young children) decided to use their vacation savings to pay for their estate plan. They decided that the planning was so important that a vacation could wait a little longer. (I have to admit, that would be a tough one for me. Luckily, many attorneys out there have various payment plans available.) All of my clients have made it a priority that you take care of your family first. Everything else comes after that.

2. Plan for the worst, expect the best.

Many people put off important things like estate planning, retirement planning, financial planning, and family budgeting because it’s really tough to face these issues. It’s difficult to face worst-case scenarios in your own mind, let alone discuss them openly with your family. It’s even more of a task to find a professional and set up that first appointment. Sure, everyone is busy, but there’s an additional psychological barrier that makes parents want to fly by the seat of their pants when it comes to this stuff. We seem to think that if we don’t think about death and money that the bad things won’t happen. It is very common for people to be superstitious about estate planning in particular. The idea is that if we acknowledge death and make plans for it, then we’ve admitted that the worst is possible. As long as we ignore it, it won’t happen. The truth is that death weighs heavily on all of our minds and actually holds us back from truly being able to expect the best. Once we have gotten through the process of planning for the worst, that weight is lifted and we can focus on the other important things in our lives.

3. Do the best you can for the ones you love.

The clients I have don’t take information for granted. We all have heard people say, “I need a will,” or, “I need to get something in place.” One thing all of my clients have in common is that they came to the first meeting to learn. They didn’t come to the meeting to tell me what they needed; they came to learn what their situation looks like, and to learn about how they can do the best planning to care for their families. They had questions. They wanted all the facts on the table so that they could make decisions that would work best for their families. It’s not about checking something off of your “to do” list or doing something that everyone says you should do; it’s about doing the best you can for the ones you love.

4. Just do it.

No, I didn’t just throw this one in there because so many of my clients work for/with Nike. All of my clients are pretty good at just doing it. They are all able to weigh pros and cons quickly and get things done. Most of my clients are extremely busy people. If they’re anything like me, they’ve probably had to learn to quickly weigh the facts and make important decisions, because they need to get on with their lives! If they know they need the planning, and they feel that they like me and trust me, the decision is a quick one. (Without those factors in place, no one should make a decision to move forward. If your meeting with a professional leaves you feeling more confused than ever, or if you get a gut feeling that you should leave, then do it! You should only work with someone who makes you feel comfortable and confident. No professional is suited to work with everyone.)

5. Find a way to make it work.

You may be surprised to know that many of my clients weren’t able to just write me a check for the full cost of their planning services. Once they learned how badly they needed the planning, they did what they needed to do to make it work, including asking me if there were payment plans available. Like most things in life, once you’ve decided to make something work, there’s little that can deter you. If you feel that you can’t afford the full cost of services up front, ask your attorney about a payment plan.

It’s hard to know how to conclude this post. I’m sure I have a lot more to learn from my clients over time. Maybe they should charge me a fee for all of this wisdom that they bestow upon me. :)

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5 Reasons to Discuss Estate Planning With Your Ex

by Jackie Bedard on August 24, 2010

in Estate Planning, Guardians, Wills

As a parent, thinking about the possibility that a day could come when you aren’t able to raise your children can be heart breaking. But building a comprehensive estate plan to protect your minor children is one of the most important things you can do for them. But what do you do if you and your child’s other parent are separated or divorced? Even if the relationship didn’t end harmoniously, for the sake of your children it’s worth setting your differences aside temporarily to discuss these important issues.

Here are five major things to discuss with your ex:

Guardians

In the eyes of the law, if you pass away, even if you had full custody, guardianship of your child will pass automatically to your child’s other biological parent unless it is determined that the surviving parent is unfit or if the parent previously severed parental rights.  Nonetheless, it is still prudent for both of you to nominate a few alternates in the event that both of you are not available. And, it would give both yourself and your child greater security and peace of mind about the future if you and your ex discussed and agree on the same alternates.

Emergencies

Nominating permanent guardians for your child is a great start, but also discuss emergency planning with your ex, especially if you live in different states. Our clients establish Children’s Safeguard Plans that among other things, make sure we have nominated emergency temporary guardians that could care for the children in the event of an emergency and the permanent guardians are not available—friends, neighbors or other family members that could respond within 20-30 minutes and care of the child. If you share custody with your ex, it’s important that both of you have emergency plans in place and that all of your children’s care givers know what to do and who to call in the event of an emergency.

Family Visitation

If it’s important to you and your child, be sure to discuss with your ex the importance of extended family involvement in your child’s upbringing. For example, you may wish to discuss the fact that you would still want your parents actively involved in your child’s life even if your ex is guardian. Within your estate plan, you may even provide instructions to your trustee that it is suitable to pay necessary travel expenses and the like to ensure that such visitation is possible.

Inheritance

While you may feel that your ex could and should be your child’s guardian if something happens to you, if you’re like many divorcees, you do not want your ex having control over any financial assets you leave behind for your child.  So how can you leave your estate to your child without putting it in the hands of your ex? The key is to put your child’s inheritance in a trust and name a person that you know and trust as trustee to manage the assets on your child’s behalf.  Your trust can provide the trustee with instructions on how you want the assets managed, when and how to make distributions to your child’s guardian for the benefit of your child and so on. Note that your trustee and guardian will have to communicate regularly and work together frequently, so if you an your ex can both agree on a trustee that you’re both trust and are comfortable with it will make everyone’s lives easier.

Remarriage

It’s common upon remarriage to commingle assets and finances. And if you don’t properly plan for your child in your estate plan, it’s likely that if you die, all of your assets will end up going to your new spouse—effectively disinheriting your child.  If you or your ex are contemplating remarriage, it’s important to talk to your attorney and make sure there is a plan in place to ensure that your children will be provided for.

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If I die, Who Will Teach My Daughters? Council of Moms or Dads

by Jackie Bedard on June 21, 2010

in Estate Planning, Family Wealth, General, Guardians

I came across a very touching story this morning on CNN.com: If I die, Who Will Teach My Daughters?

When a young author is diagnosed with a rare form of cancer, he wonders who is going to teach various life lessons to his young daughters as they grow older.

Feiler came up with a extraordinary answer. He would put together a group of men and call them his council of dads. Six men from different stages of Feiler’s life who could be Feiler’s voice, and could teach his girls the life lessons he might not be there to teach.

The article is well worth a read and includes a 5-step outline of how to form your own council of moms or dads.

For related ideas on the subject, check out my prior post on Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture.

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Clearing Up The Terminology Confusion: Wills, Living Trust, Guardianship, Probate

by Jackie Bedard on June 14, 2010

in Estate Planning, Guardians, Health Care Directive, Power of Attorney, Probate, Trusts, Wills

This article was originally included in our email newsletter on August 21, 2009. It may have been edited somewhat from the version that was originally emailed, so be sure to sign up in the upper right corner of our website to make sure you are getting our email newsletter hot off the press!

With all of the health care talk–as well as the debacles left behind by recent celebrity deaths–we’re hearing a lot about these:

  • Will
  • Living Trust
  • Guardianship
  • Probate

While this is a great opportunity for the media to educate the public on these important legal issues, the truth is often getting mangled. Furthermore, for most of the public, the information is confusing, stressful and they would just rather not hear about it.

So let me clear up the confusion, as one who deals with this on a *daily* basis…

Let’s start with the basics. Typically, in North Carolina, when a person with assets over $20,000 ($30,000 in certain instances) passes away, their assets will be handled in one of three ways:

(1) If they had no will, their assets will be distributed as mandated by the state statutory law through a court proceeding called probate,

(2) If the person had a valid will, the estate will still have to go through the probate process, but the court will carry out their wishes as stated in their will,

(3) If the person had a valid living trust (and their assets were re-titled in the name of their living trust–this is called “funding”), their wishes would be carried out in private, without the court’s involvement.

So … why does it matter to you?

The answer to this question depends on how much you care about what your loved ones will have to deal with after you are gone and how much control you want to have as to who gets what, and when and how they get it.

If you do nothing, you get no input on any of these questions and the court and one of your eager family members/friend/creditor who petitions the court will make these decisions on your behalf through a process called probate. Why do you care about probate? Often, the probate process can take 9-18 months and can be extremely costly. Your loved ones may have limited control and access to assets, it’s stressful for your family, and the process is completely public. The probate process can often lead to squabbling between family members and airing of the family’s dirty laundry.

If a person leaves a valid will, it will still have to go through the probate process described above and the headaches that go along therewith, but the court will have the benefit of knowing how you want your affairs handled. Instead of relying on the laws of intestate succession (which is the law that distributes your assets to your family members in the order of their relation to you–you can read more here), the court will pass on your assets to the specific people you have identified in your will.

Through a valid will, you can control WHO gets your assets, but you will have no control as to HOW and WHEN they get it.

A living trust (that has been properly funded!), on the other hand, gives you more control and offers significant protection to your family. If you are working with an attorney who has expertise in this field, you can control WHO gets your assets, WHEN and HOW they get it without the court’s involvement. Even better–with a living trust, it is a private administration and can generally be handled in a short period of time. Furthermore, a living trust can incorporate a lot of other great protections including protection from taxes, creditors, predators, medical catastrophe, divorce, remarriage and more.

You may be asking yourself: why would someone ever do a will instead of a living trust? Typically, a person will choose a will over a living trust for one of two reasons:

(1) they don’t know the difference between the two or
(2) the perceived “cost” of doing a living trust.

There are some obvious advantages to doing a living trust over a will, but starting with anything is better than ending up with nothing. If you are not yet ready to make a leap into the world of living trusts, a basic, will-based estate plan is a starting point. In addition to giving the court direction about how you want your assets distributed, every estate plan should also include:

(1) an advance health care directive, which identifies the person(s) that will make health care decisions for you, if you’re incapacitated, and expresses your wishes regarding health care treatments;

(2) a durable power of attorney, which identifies the person(s) that will make financial and legal decisions, when you can’t; and

(3) if you have children, it should also include a Children’s Safeguard Plan, naming both short and long term guardians to care for your children in the event of an emergency, as well as clear and specific directions to those guardians about how you would wish your children to be raised in your absence.

While we all care about what happens to our assets, every person over the age of 18 needs to have an advance health care directive and durable power of attorney (this includes adult children heading off to college!).

I hope this clears up the confusion…

If you’d like to read a little more about these documents, here are some links to past blog articles that go more in depth:

What Is A Trust?

Parents: 13 Reasons Why Trusts Aren’t Just For The Wealthy

What Happens If I Die Without A Will?

Problems With Intestacy

What Is A Will? Introduction to North Carolina Wills

What Is Estate Planning?

Two Legal Documents Every Adult Needs: Part 1

Two Legal Documents Ever Adult Needs: Part 2

We’re here to help!


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The Truth About Estate Planning

by Jackie Bedard on June 8, 2010

in Asset Protection, Estate Planning, General

The Truth About Estate Planning

Asset Protection Workshop

Tuesday, June 22nd

6:30 pm to 8:30 pm

Discover why most wills and trusts don’t work and what you can do about it.

Is this workshop for you?

This workshop is designed for those…

  • Who don’t know where to start
  • Interested in protecting their family’s wealth from being siphoned off by creditors, divorce, or taxes
  • Who have seen loved ones or friends pass away, leaving a mess and added stress and frustration to those left behind
  • Who want to hear about a proven process that will bring true peace of mind
  • Who already has a will or trust, but has doubts as to whether it’s the best plan for their family

This workshop will be especially helpful to:

  • Those with a will or trust over three years old or that have recently moved here from another state
  • Those in a second marriage
  • Business owners
  • Anyone nearing retirement
  • Those wondering if their parents or grandparents have planned effectively

What you will hear at the Truth About Estate Planning workshop…

  • How to transfer your financial wealth and “life wisdom” to future generations
  • What to consider before meeting and selecting an estate planning attorney
  • Why most living trusts do not work and how to assure your trust meets your goals
  • How to leave assets to your loved ones protected against divorces and creditors
  • How a second marriage puts your assets at risk, even if you live “’til death do us part”
  • Probate–why does everyone want to avoid it?
  • The hidden costs of a basic will or trust
  • Why are many powers of attorney not accepted by financial institutions?
  • What is the impact of changing estate tax laws?
  • What is trust funding and why it is essential to the success of your living trust
  • Why you should have professional counseling on how to fund your living trust
  • The estate planning process–who do you meet with and how do you prepare?
  • Counseling vs. word processing–what are you really paying for?
  • How to make life easier on your loved ones in troubling times
  • Do your children know what to do?
  • How often should you update your estate plan?
  • What is the real cost of an outdated estate plan?

Reservations required. Register now!

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Importance of Updating: Don’t Leave Your Medical Decisions in the Hands of Your Ex

The recent death of Gary Coleman brings to light an important issue that is often overlooked: in some states separation does not automatically revoke health care directives, living wills, or health care powers of attorney. It seems that Gary and ex divorced in August 2008, but because he never updated his estate plan, his ex [...]

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Lessons from Michael Jackson’s Estate Plan

Details of Michael Jackson’s Family Trust were leaked to the media recently. My take? Michael Jackson would have benefited from working with an estate planning lawyer that would have taken the time to educate Michael about available techniques to better protect his children. This is just another example of poor estate planning from a celebrity.
Under [...]

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2010 Estate Tax Repeal & Estate Planning Implications

Oops! This post was originally scheduled for publication at the beginning of the year, but due to a user error on my end, the post was never published. Better late than never I suppose.

I’m pleased to share the following, posted with the permission of the author, my colleague Attorney Mike Lichterman of Lichterman Law, PLC [...]

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4 Secrets Loving Parents Need to Know to Protect Their Kids

In case you missed the most recent issue, Jackie Bedard was honored to write a Financial Focus piece for the current issue of Cary Living magazine. To read the 4 Secrets Loving Parents Need to Know to Protect Their Kids, click on the image below.
*Note: Depending on your web browser, after opening the image, [...]

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Okay, You’ve Graduated… Now Grow Up! (Part 1)

This article was originally included in our email newsletter on May 13, 2010.  It may have been edited somewhat from the version that was originally emailed, so be sure to sign up so you get the newsletter hot off the press!
It’s finally here! Your son or daughter has finished with exams, sold a [...]

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